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  • Writer's pictureZendrik

Tantra and the Art of Relating

Updated: Feb 2, 2020

Relationships can be the greatest challenge on our spiritual path: to remain centered and grounded in your own truth while engaging in the dance of life with another.

Our relationships also offer us a shelter in the storm, a safe place to explore trust, communication and a sharing of our deepest self.

A relationship is at the same time a mirror for all your projections, fears and dreams, and a crucible of transformation and healing. It offers an opportunity for the healing of your childhood emotional traumas, and a deep spiritual and karmic friendship in the ancient tradition of the ashram, spiritual community and companionship. With the right partner we can keep each other on the path, walking each other home.

Tantra is an ancient spiritual practice in both the Hindu and Buddhist traditions that includes sexuality as a natural and sacred part of life. Treating sexuality as sacred is already seeing it as an approach to the divine. We also make contact with a core and essential aspect of our being when we can truly express our sexual nature.

The essence of Tantra is integration and transformation and today tantra has also become a buzz word for connection and authenticity. Can you be true to yourself and to your relationship(s)? Can you freely express the primal force of your sexual energy while being in alignment with your heart and mind and your partner?

The Ancient Taoists also created practices that promote vitality through cultivating and nurturing sexual energy.

Heart of Healing workshops for couples and singles explore new dimensions of non-verbal and non-sexual communication through bodywork and massage, releasing tension and energy blockages, as well as partner yoga and white tantra, including chakra toning and harmonizing, eye gazing and Tibetan pulsing, also known as hara pulsing or womb pulsing for clearing emotional blockages.

All healing and health, including sexual, emotional and mental, is about clearing the blocks in the flow of energy/chi/prana.

We also playfully explore our boundaries and the communication of desire and consent, and the interchangeable roles in yin/yang or dominance and submission, in movement and dance, practicing and exploring surrender and vulnerability as a pathway to revealing our inner natures to each other.

Talks and discussions include: - Methods for multiple orgasmic responses and internal and external orgasms, including female ejaculation and male orgasm without ejaculation. - New paradigm relationships, holistic polyamory and relationships within relationships. - Sex magic and the conscious invocation and manifestation into the physical world of desired objectives during sexual play, and the use of sexual energy and secret-ions, to charge, heal and sanctify. - The survival psychological archetypes of child, victim, saboteur and prostitute, and how we can overcome some of our inner dramas to be fully present in the moment.

We all know how sexual energy enlivens and electrifies. We can learn to accept, embrace and channel this energy for health, longevity and spiritual enlightenment. Some believe that the blocking of this primal life force is the cause of all problems on the planet, not only physical ailments and disease, but also war, poverty, mental illness and societal dysfunction.

Enlightenment is about finding out what about our personal power and freedom we are afraid of and embracing change and transformation. Who changes? Not the old you. Change happens naturally when we allow it and dissolve our fears and clear our energy bodies.

Divine Woman, Divine Man. Much of our work in sexuality and relationships is in celebrating once again the sacred power of the feminine. However, we need to step into a new appreciation of our complete divine nature, in order to hold space for the other to do the same, celebrating and embracing both the Divine Masculine, and Divine Feminine within ourselves and each other. To give birth to a new state of consciousness, you have to become like a woman. Every great teacher has been "like a woman", soft and gentle. Look into the eyes of your woman, and become like her, become feminine, have a womb, gestate, give birth, nurture. To fertilize your own creativity, productivity and embodiment, become like a man. Penetrate, inspire, initiate.

Tantra has no lower and higher. Denies nothing. Has no hierarchy.

As seekers pursuing presence in relationship we should be aware of how our personal story and drama is in conflict with letting go of the ego. How much of your energy is invested in maintaining a character, a personality and a biography.

As mother nature is ruthless and will destroy to preserve, as Kali will cut off the head of Siva to destroy the ego, so too the feminine that gives life, can be trusted to destroy old life so that new life can be born. The first tantrikas lived in cremation grounds, and embraced death as part of life. Tantra joins together the opposites, the contraries, the contradictions. Compassion and cruelty. The inner and the outer. The higher and the lower. The left and the right. Ida and Pingala. The male and the female.

Eye gazing. Just as the wind on the lake turns the reflection of the moon into a thousand moons, so too the mind full of thoughts and desires, creates a thousand reflections/faces, or even just two, you and me. When the mind is quiet, you realize that you and I are one.

These retreats are fully clothed. Some of the exercises will be practiced in your own rooms/homes, such as: Nudity. Sit in front of the naked person until you no longer see a naked person, but the real person. We are blinded by our desire to see the naked. We are hooked on form. We can go beyond form only when we have gazed upon it and examined it, meditated on it. Until it has no attraction for us any more, or no hold on us.

We love problems because we cannot accept the silence, the stillness, the acceptance of things the way they are, the "imperfections". Accept your life as you find it right now. Enjoy your "imperfections". Tantra is about inclusion, totality.

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